The Tricky Line of Commenting on the DOMA Ruling

No matter how you look at it, the DOMA ruling passed down by the Supreme Court represents a significant change in American culture. In the face of such a historic event, it's natural for individuals and companies to want to comment on the issue. It's important to tread carefully into controversial topics such as gay marriage, though. One wrong move and you can end up alienating the very people you are trying to connect with. Here are a few tips for talking about the DOMA ruling.

1. Face reality. Before even thinking about politically correct ways to comment on the DOMA ruling, it's important to understand that anything you say will likely offend someone, somewhere. Whether you support the decision, oppose it, or don't care either way, someone will take umbrage with your stance on the issue. Suffice it to say, you should expect a certain amount of pushback related to your comments. The goal, then, is to minimize hurt feelings that may result in lost friends and allies.
   
    
2. Watch your language. In verbal and written communications, word choice contributes greatly to the meaning of what a person is saying. Referring to members of the LGBT community as "gays and lesbians," for example, is significantly different from saying "those people." One phrase is socially acceptable, while the other can have very negative connotations in certain contexts. When commenting about a hot-button issue like this Supreme Court ruling, it's important to stick with politically correct or neutral terms as much as possible. Slang and colloquialisms can easily be misconstrued and quickly derail the conversation.
   
    
3. Framing is everything. Simply put, framing is the way people perceive the world around them and is based largely on knowledge, beliefs, and experiences. When you talk to others about the DOMA ruling, they will better understand your position if you also communicate the viewpoint that frames your comments. For example, proponents of the ruling generally frame the legalization of gay marriage as a civil rights issue, while those who oppose it often cite religious teachings as the basis for their objections.
   
    
4. Be respectful. Above all else, always show respect to the people you are speaking to. This includes using socially acceptable terms to address them, avoiding insults, and maintaining a professional, nonaggressive demeanor.

While it may be tempting to avoid talking about the DOMA ruling altogether, the fact that it's an integral part of the overarching gay marriage issue practically guarantees individuals and companies will be asked about it at one point or another. Taking time to think about and prepare a response regarding the DOMA ruling can go a long way toward saving you from an embarrassing gaffe later on.

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