How to Resolve Office Conflicts

In the movie “He Said, She Said,” Dan (Kevin Bacon) and Lorie (Elizabeth Perkins), working in the same office, carry their feud to physical extremes when Lorie bounces a coffee cup off Dan’s head. It’s a classic scene of office conflict as they try to resolve their differences.  

 

While the stunt worked to boost ratings in their morning news program, resolving conflicts through physical aggression or even passive aggressive means can lead to the termination of one or both employees. 

With smaller offices and more cubicles jamming office workers and administrative assistants closer together, conflicts and disagreements are bound to arise.  If you don’t want to lose favor with the boss or management, you’ll avoid screaming and swearing and tossing staplers and coffee cups at each other. You must learn to resolve office conflicts professionally and peaceably.  Some suggestions:

Focus on the Outcome. Getting even is not an outcome. Nor is embarrassing your co-worker or “making them wrong.” The goal is to deal with the source of the conflict and meet your co-worker halfway.  Put yourself in his or her shoes. Even if your co-worker is wrong, you must learn to defuse his or her anger and come to an understanding.

Talking tet a tet.  Resolutions to conflicts are best handled face to face in private.  No shouting matches in the lunchroom or across cubicle walls. 

Control yourself. Don’t raise your voice, be snarky or sarcastic, or go into histrionics. Sit down and offer your co-worker a seat. Be prepared for your coworker’s outbursts and stay calm.  Stay focused on the source and solution of the conflict.

 

Be honest and constructive.  Don't sugar-coat the problem. Confront it head on. Be willing to admit you could be wrong.  Once a point is made, don’t revisit it. Focus on one issue at a time.  Conflicts have a habit of bringing out all sorts of old wounds and slights—whether real or perceived. 

Third party solution. If all else fails, bring in a neutral, third party to mediate the conflict. This is a good idea if you have a short temper. A mediator can help calm things down and keep disputing parties focused on a solution.

So the next time you’re temped to scream, shout, or toss a coffee cup at a fellow employee (or heaven forbid, your boss), count to ten and be cool—or risk being canned.