Worried about holding on to your job? Here's how to lose your job is 6 simple steps. (Don't try this at home)
With so many people out of work and looking for jobs, if you are lucky enough to have a job, holding onto it is probably very important. On the other hand, maybe you really hate your job and would be willing to deal with almost anything just to get out of it.
Getting fired is the first step to cashing in on those more than generous unemployment benefits. Salaries are over-rated anyways. Besides, having a car or a place to live isn't really that important. And, if you were planning on starting a new diet, having less money for food equals less temptation, right?
If you are looking to lose your job, (or just want to know what not to do), here are 6 simple steps to lose your job:
- Just be stupid – The nice thing about this one is it doesn't matter how much you know. Anyone can just act stupid. Make sure that you keep a negative attitude about your job and know that your efforts don't make any difference, and you'll ace this one.
- Refuse to learn anything – You already know all you need to, so why waste precious brain energy trying to learn a new skill. Taking a computer course or a training class is for brown-nosers, right? The main thing here is to never do anything that would increase your value to your employer.
- Be negative, all the time – The job stinks, you hate the boss and nothing you do makes a difference. So, don't even try to be positive, ever. Complain loudly about everything and look for more opportunities to be unhappy. Don't participate in office meetings or brainstorming sessions. Besides, they are just lucky you are actually at the office today.
- Work fewer hours, take more days off – Hey, all that negativity can really bring you down. Why not take a day or two off? You deserve it. Whatever you do, don't come in early or work late. That would make your boss or co-workers think that you might actually care.
- Stop contributing – If no one sees you, it's like you aren't there, right? Don't talk about work issues or help brainstorm new ideas. Don't reply to your email and don't make suggestions to your boss. Just try to be invisible.
- Just say no – If your boss asks you to work on a special assignment, just say no. If your co-workers need help on a project, just tell them that you are too busy. If you aren't involved with any of the important projects, it will be easier for you to be let go. Make sure that you aren't working on anything valuable so that you will be free to go at a moments notice.
If you keep these simple steps in mind, you won't have to waste time working hard and getting laid off. Instead you can move to the front of the line and join the ranks of the glorious unemployed in no time.
By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for FinancialJobBank. Along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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