How to Cope with Being Passed Over for a Promotion

This week, I watched a movie called Horrible Bosses. The movie follows a group of friends who each have a terrible boss. As their work lives continue to deteriorate, the group decides that the only solution is to kill their bosses. It's a comedy of errors and is definitely worth watching. One of the characters is mad at their boss because, despite many promises to the contrary, his boss continues to pass him over for a promotion. It's a common complaint and one that has a huge impact on overall job satisfaction.

Especially in the sales industry, a promotion means that not only are you doing a good job, but that your boss has confidence in you. But what happens when you apply for a promotion that you feel you've earned--and you don't get it? It's only human to be upset, to feel hurt and disappointed, but it's important to be able to get through without losing your cool, embarrassing yourself or saying things you'll later regret. (And it's certainly not a reason to kill your boss.)

So, how can you get through it without losing face? Here are a few key steps:

Take a deep breath. Feeling disappointed is natural, but be careful not to feed any feelings of anger and unfairness. I've heard people complain that after all they've done for the company, they deserve the promotion. The truth is that your company doesn't owe you anything. Having a meltdown will not only make everyone else feel uncomfortable, but may make your boss think that you aren't able to handle difficult situations well, making it less likely that you'll get promoted next time. Take a deep breath and let those negative feelings go.

Don't take it personally. You can't know why someone else was promoted while you weren't. Don't assume that you aren't good enough. Sometimes, other employees are selected because they have slightly more experience or because they have a skill that you don't. It's not likely that the decision was personal, and it doesn't mean that you aren't doing a good job. Taking the decision personally makes it harder to stay positive and can even start you down a path of negative thinking that can harm your career. If you have trouble letting it go, try to imagine yourself as the interviewer. Picking the best person for the job is tough, and even if they like you, they have to do what they feel is best for the company.

Aim for the future. Just because you were passed over this time doesn't mean that you'll never get a promotion. Use the experience as a learning opportunity and work on raising your chances for next time. It's likely that you know what you need to work on and what skills you can improve. Believe in yourself and do whatever you can to keep looking forward.

Not getting a promotion you really want can be heartbreaking, but don't let it derail your career. Resentment and entitlement can eat away at you, causing you to badmouth your boss, your co-workers and the company. These emotions will never allow you to be your best self, so don't let them be in charge. The path of negativity doesn't have any pay-off; it can only offer more misery and pain. Don't let it happen to you.

Have you ever been passed over for a promotion you really wanted? How did you get over it? Please share your thoughts in the comments.